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I thought I could beat depression and anxiety.....
I was wrong.
What a fucking idiot I was to think I could do this!
How fucking stupid am I for even trying to beat this idiotic brain defect? Fuck. I should have been doing some art....I mean anything would be great right now. Instead minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years have gone by and here I am. Still angry. Still sad. Still a nothing. Fuck you brain! Fucking traitor!
And this is just a tiny slice of what is going on inside my head most days and nights. What I should really be saying
Depression did this.
How do I start this? I've been drawing since about 12 years old or so, I think. I love all types of art and sometimes I will tear up when I see a piece of artwork that is just gorgeous. For years I would practice and learn as hard as I could and suddenly just stop. I always assumed it was because I wasn't "Inspired" to draw. I was wrong. I've battling with depression for years. Looking back now I can see what was going on. Things got worse when my Mom passed away after years of battling cancer back in July. I'm not ashamed to admit that I feel like a broken and useless individual. And looking at what I've done with art didn't help.
So now f
Home for over a week....
So since I hurt myself at work I have had some time to draw and mess around with some coloring. Bought me some new copics and I finally got my light box that I have been wanting for over a year!! :D As soon as I can I will post up some of the goodies I have been messing around with. Also it has been nice showing my younger babies some things I have taught myself through the years. My stuff is not even close to the awesomeness that gets posted here on DA by all you wonderful people but it feels good to be able to put pencil to paper again. I love art so much!
Where have I been??
Working overnight, doing my Mr. Mom impersonation and getting healthy has all contributed to me not drawing. Yeah I know it sounds like a bunch of bullshit excuses but I was in a very bad depressive state of mind too. Too many times I have abandoned my one true love (corny I know) and it hurts. Almost get teary-eyed thinking how good I could possibly be by now if I'd just ignore everything and work on art! That sounds selfish so that is also why I fall away from this. Soon I believe I will be able to focus on this and I will attempt to get commissions and all that fun stuff but right now it is just a slow crawl.
© 2011 - 2024 mez1602
Comments4
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That would be cool - but just be sure to remind them as comic artists specifically, there's not much money out here, unless you're one of the top. 0.5% percent (guys like McFarlane, Lee, etc. who make most of their money from their media empires than actually drawing).
Much more money to be had in graphic design and advertising illustration. Most of the time, less fun, granted, but fun don't pay the bills.
I should know.
Much more money to be had in graphic design and advertising illustration. Most of the time, less fun, granted, but fun don't pay the bills.
I should know.